Thursday, April 23, 2015

I am Napoleon at Yet Another Waterloo.



I find myself in a quandary. I have a teen, exhibiting teen behavior, who is also autistic. What people not living in an Autism world may not know is that even when they are being age appropriate, we STILL need to remember that behavior correction that works with NT kids will normally not work with our Auties. So, when Cassie "couldn't" make it to class on time because of hanging out with friends, I'm having a few days of hell here. Meltdowns, shut downs, you name it. 
I could rock this hat!!
 
I believe I made a mistake on Monday afternoon, and I think Paul, being as sick as he was, probably didn't catch it. "If you choose not to be on time to class for the rest of the week, you are choosing not to have a sleep over this weekend". LISA!! YOU IDIOT!!!!! Too large of a span of time between Monday afternoon and the weekend, #1, this is the first time you are having the discussion, #2, and you are setting her up for failure. So, why are you surprised when she didn't make it on time Tuesday morning?!?!?!  Well, I bought Cassie her favorite pretzels. Then told her she couldn't have them. Not until tomorrow, Wednesday, IF she could make it to English on time. Yeah, I know... Autism Moms reading this are thinking I’m certifiable.  But she's pretty stable, and hasn't been a puddle of goo on the floor in quite some time; I felt I could handle it. 
Well, sometimes they ARE misbehaving!!!

I won’t lie, it wasn't easy.  It made for a long night.  We’d go from meltdown to shutdown… I think we even had a temper tantrum or two, but who can tell anymore.  But this morning, she was all better.  On the way to school, she assured me she would make it today.   And I did threaten her that If she didn't make it to class on time, I was irritated enough to sit there in front of her and eat every single one of them and not let her have even one. We were both laughing, but I think she knew I was serious. I told her if THAT didn't work, I'd walk up to her and all her friends and announce I was there to help them make it to class on time. In my grey sweat pants and grey flannel shirt, I matched, but I wasn't pretty. She said she could see me doing that. I told her I'd bring healthy Tofu & black bean muffin's to soften the blow. BUT I just got a text stating "I GET PRETZELS AFTER SCHOOL!!!!!!!" <hehehehehe> I know,  it’s just one day, one battle. But we all have to take what we can get, right?

Current Bribe, I mean, Reward of Choice
But then I get the email from the teacher stating, “She was late again today! Grrr.....”  BUT Cassie DID kick butt on her Argumentative Essay about Autism and Service Dogs.. And she honestly BELIEVED she was on time for class….  And I didn’t get the email until AFTER she ate the pretzels….  <sigh>  I have won nothing!  I’ve been defeated by peers and school bells!!!  Furthermore, all I DO have is 3 tardies no pretzels, and an 85% on an essay.  What does Cassie have?  Apparently a delightful social life.  Oh, and a boyfriend that calls her “Babe”, much to her father’s chagrin.  I’m thinking I need to get myself a Napoleon Hat and Coat (he has the cutest outfit), some maps, and start getting serious.  I need to get busy and plan a proper campaign.  I will win this war!!  Watch out, Little Miss, and remember, you got your competitiveness gene from your Mother; even your Father can’t beat me when I take up a cause!

Disney Channel's Next Best Dad!
ADDEDDUM:  I admit, I wrote this last night.  Sometime in the evening Rob & I discussed my dismay at OUR daughters actions.  I also voice d my dismay at is lack of assistance in the matter due to his inability enter into a confrontation. Yes, I can drag him into a confrontation, usually kicking and screaming, but he will never, ever enter willingly, or start one on his own.  So this morning, as Pitman was leaving for work, he kisses me goodbye, tells me he loves me, and to have a good day.  He kisses Cassie on the forehead, tells her he loves her and to have a good day.  I ask “Is there anything else you want to say to her?”  He looks completely confused and kind of scared of what he has forgotten.  You see him going through his mental calendar, coming up blank.”  “MAN UP, PITMAN!!!!”, I holler at him, and he still looks confused.  “How about “Be on time?!?!?!”  And the look of relieved recollection crossed his face, and in the most stereotypical, foolish Disney TV Dad way you can imagine, he looks at Cassie and says:

“YEAH!”
I’m doomed.



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